My friend owes me a reading. I sold her a hoop. She channels Jesus and Mary, and I decided to cash in today. Here’s our convo on ye ol’ Facebook:
Christie: sweetie, could you please check in w’ mary and jesus for me? i’m going through it right now! let me know when you’re less busy… or something. just needin’ reassurance, guidance, love fairly desperately right now. thanks. ♥
Grace: yes! do you want to do a phone reading? i’m available. otherwise i’ll check in and email you a response within 48hours. so sorry to have lagged so long. what would you like the ‘focus’ of the guidance/reading to be about?
Christie: ugh, so much. i’ll give that some thought, flesh out the riff raff. i know what it is, just haven’t sat down for half a second to consciously get rid of it. relationship anxiety, partnership, worthiness. some stalker creep just got in my head, it’s the dumbest thing. i know he’s an angry, imbalanced person who has no bearing on my anything, but when he says something as pathetic as “you don’t deserve any man! suffer!” i think, “you’re right, i already knew that. okay.” i’m hurting. i’ll call you tomorrow around 7 my time?
still Christie: it all stems from lack of basic parental kindness and love, and that particular issue is at its zenith (again) right now because i’m currently in the longest estrangement i’ve ever had with them. it continues because i haven’t gone back this time and made everything “right.” i’m not going to. so i feel unloved, unloveable, and unworthy – permanently. even useless people can jump on that nerve and get a response, if privately. (he doesn’t know he got to me. i just ignored him, but it hurt.)
stiiill Christie: basically, i want love and i want to give love. i don’t think i can. i think i’m fundamentally broken and i wouldn’t trust/respect anyone who would trust me to love them. i don’t know what to do about that. i need jesus and his nice mom. there. i guess i figured it out, and now i’m crying. at work. 🙂
Grace: i love you, christy. thanks for sharing.
Christie: thanks for taking it to the authorities! i love you, too.
My Jewish atheist suitor would absolutely cringe. So would my bestie. So do I, a little, but it’s all just nomenclature. That’s her lexicon. I’m so excited! I love Jesus, even if he’s just a story or an idea or a dude with a lot of stuff attributed to him. Even if He’s God! I don’t know and I don’t care. I’ll know someday. Or I won’t.