Ruby’s Rainbow

Last month, I blogged about Ruby’s Rainbow, a non-profit that raises money to offer scholarships to students with Down Syndrome who want to go to college. They set a goal to raise $150,000 by Mar. 21, World Down Syndrome Day. In fact, they raised $210,000! I didn’t even recognize the significance of that number until they pointed out in a newsletter that the final result boasts a big fat 21! Made my day!

It’s like the angels had something to do with it. You know how I love my number messages. 321 might replace my beloved 222.

Speaking of Trisomy 21 and my favorite human, I’ll be in Texas 2 weeks from today. Hooray, hooray!

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Down Syndrome Awareness Day!

We found out last year on 3/21 that our little Farrah would have Down Syndrome. What a coincidence to learn a year later that 3/21 is Down Syndrome Awareness Day! People with DS have 3 copies of the 21st chromosome, and this girl’s rockin’ it!
farrahLittle did we know that day one year ago that higher education could be in little Farrah’s future. (All we know a year later is that our future is blessed by her!) Ruby’s Rainbow is a non-profit that raises money to offer scholarships to students with Down Syndrome who wish to go to college. Please take the 3/21 Pledge to help Farrah and others like her get to campus one day: Rockin’ That Extra Chromosome!
321 pledgedinosaurs are scary
Other than that, I’m loving Spring and counting the days ’til I’m back in Texas – 4 weeks! – holding that baby and remembering sweet Chanel this time, too. 😉

(Texas has my heart, not just because my best friend is there with her parents, siblings, and children. I was born there, so Grandpa called me his “Yellow Rose of Texas.” ❤ )

grandpa and me

No one loved me more.

I’m In Love

I never loved anything so much in my life, though I confess I got a little sick to my stomach when I whispered to this baby that I love her more than I love my cats. And I took it back.

I never loved any human so much in my life. Meet my friend Farrah, trailing angels.
farrah
Texas was wonderful. My bestie had finished her beautiful new home, and we spent the whole time sitting. No makeup, no sightseeing, just baby! Her 4-year-old and I are cut from the same cloth (dancing, imagination, go go go), but this trip was about the little one. Balance will be restored again soon, I imagine, but who can resist an infant?

It might be tricky not to give all focus to Farrah. She really is special. There’s a reason they say that! There’s a reason for the Down Syndrome hashtag, #theluckyfew. We are!

I’ll remember to more fairly split my time on subsequent visits, but this trip was for Farrah, and she healed every last piece of me. I’ve been feeling fine for months. Guys & Dolls did most of the repair work, but I come home feeling 100% myself.

My god, I was gone so long. It makes me sad to realize how unaware I was.

****

Speaking of love, I decided against it with the Viking. It was a wonderful week that we ended the night before I left for Texas. He was pissed, but I thanked him and left warmly. Tried to, anyway. He wouldn’t even walk me to the door. He wouldn’t get up from the couch. It was a shock, but confirmation of intuition. It was a real boon to get that immediately. I needed in-real-time results of trusting myself.

Since Jax, I’ve felt a sense of inner panic. I doubted I could perceive red flags, or ever would again if I had once. I didn’t trust myself or my ability to read the signs. I was also scared that I might read into things that didn’t exist, simply because my ex-boyfriend and his new bride were so abusive in the house we shared for their sick honeymoon.

This week-long affair, however, seemed to come at just the right time, when I was ready to open my heart again, and with all the ingredients to show me that I can trust myself.

How wonderful to find that I can feel twitterpated again! I had so much fun with him. In fact, it’s kind of a bummer that we can’t do all the things we had planned. He was great company, game in a way a lot of guys aren’t. He played along.

Now I’m free to hope that my next inamorato can properly worship my glorious colors.

And there’s the real beauty: I’m talking Next! I don’t see myself as put out to pasture anymore, dried up and shriveled away. I still believe there’s a match for me.

I’m not in any hurry. I have the rest of my life. I don’t need anyone’s babies. Now that I’m not using a man for a stud, I can really find someone to love. Desperation does such sad things to us. I didn’t know that’s what I was doing, but it seems so clear now. I called it a “shared vision,” but I wanted a baby daddy.

Now I need nothing, and I have nothing to lose. Seems like a good way to find something.