Love/Hate/Fear/Yum

I have Binge Eating Disorder. It’s a real thing, and even skinny girls can have it. In high school I used to joke when peers would comment on how I eat and how much, “I’m half bulimic. I forget to purge.” Later, it would devolve into secret eating and shame eating, and the amount is always increasing, just like cocaine.

It’s tougher than other addictions. You can stop going to the bar, or lose your dealer’s number. There’s also some derision in Overeaters Anonymous and other support groups toward those of us who inherited the metabolism to hide this affliction. (I only thank God for it! What a horrible thing to pay with your physical appearance as well as your emotions.)

I’m afraid of food. I’m obsessed with it. I often feel crippled by the inability to even shop for myself. I hate to cook, and I’m bombarded every moment by thoughts of junk food. I crave sodium, and chase it with sugar.

Today, I made a breakthrough in my endeavor to find simple, successful, easy, quick recipes that I love.

Hooray for Quinoa Patties! The only unhealthy ingredient is 1/4 c. parmesan but since I ate an entire bag of chips with an entire jar of dip yesterday (preceded by 2 Burger King Original Chicken Sandwiches), I’m gonna take this as a giant win for Team Christie, whose motto is, “She’s Awesome! She Loves Herself! She Deserves Someone To Love and Be Loved By! She’s Nourished and Strong and Able to Live, Play, Do, Seek, Find!”

No, really. You should see the cheer.
positive attitude about food

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2 thoughts on “Love/Hate/Fear/Yum

    • thank you! i will look, though i confess i had a split-second burst of panic in the pit of my stomach when i read the word “recipes.” 🙂

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