Food Addiction

I’ve had a month-long setback with my drug of choice: FOOD. I’ve been bingeing since mid February. The thing that bothers me most about it is that I can’t really identify any emotion that I’m stuffing, so what’s the use of all this bearing my soul and unburdening myself if I still loooong for that stuffed-’til-it-hurts feeling? I guess I have been terrifically anxious about my wrist, but… Yes, I’ve been filled with anxiety about what it means about aging and comfort and my mobility and dancing and teaching and hooping and, and, and, and!!!! And I find myself buried in bags of potato chips, balanced off with bags of Skittles and Snicker bites and Reese’s pieces. I had a pretty good handle on it for a lot of years, but I’m starting to feel out of control again. And the thing about food is that it’s not like you can stop going to the bar or lose your dealer’s number. My option is to have no food in the house, in which case I usually run to the convenience store for 5 bags of chips, or to stock up on non-comfort foods, which I eat one after another anyway, feverishly chasing that ever-elusive feeling of satiety. At least it’s not chips, I reason, even it was 6,000 calories. In that case, I might as well top it off with ice cream. Later…

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